Don't get stuck in a self-made box

Will wonders never cease?

It may come as a surprise that at one point, I wanted to act. At 17, after I graduated from high school where I performed several lead roles (most notably Anne Frank), I was accepted at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and moved to Los Angeles to pursue acting full time (this is also when I thought up my handle, @actlikebarbara, which has followed me ever since). My classes covered every aspect of performance, including singing. On our first day of class, our vocal professor, Perry Hart, had us fill out forms to describe where we felt our vocal strengths and weaknesses were. He reviewed our self-assessments and based on our answers, assigned songs for us to work on and perform for the class. 

My assignment was “Vanilla Ice Cream” from the musical She Loves Me! I worked on it diligently - usually alone in my car, as I was terribly insecure about singing solo in front of others. The song was written for a lead soprano with exceptionally high, operatic notes as the climax. I sang it relatively well and hit every note, and Mr. Hart looked very stern once I finished. I shuddered when he tossed me my completed form and shouted “Please read to the class your answer to the first question, ‘What kind of roles can you play!’” Nervously, I read aloud: “I have a low voice, but I can’t sing very high so I think I am more suited to supporting ensemble roles, and not a soprano lead type at all.” The teacher looked around at everyone in the class as they were smiling and snickering. I had so much anxiety anticipating his judgment of my performance, I wasn’t quite catching up to his point, nor what my fellow classmates found so funny. He paced the floor and then looked up, with a sudden intensity that made me want to melt away and disappear. “All of you need to break free of the limiting beliefs you hold about yourselves. Barbara thought she could never play a lead soprano in a musical. She believed that, and consequently would have never auditioned for a role like that, but as you just heard, she would be PERFECT for those roles. I hope this is a lesson to all of you. Barbara, you can sit down.”

My classmates broke into applause, and I broke into tears from all the tension as I quickly made it back to my seat. It was one of the most terrifying compliments I ever received. More importantly, it was a huge wake up call: I had unknowingly placed myself in a box that would have held me back from living to my fullest potential. If I thought something so incorrect about my singing, what else was I wrong about? What other beliefs could I shatter and leave in the dust? Though I later realized acting was not my calling, I will never forget Mr. Hart and this incredible, powerful lesson he delivered in such a way that only a dramatic vocal coach could.

I challenge you to think of your own self-limiting beliefs. What can you test out this week? Where can you push past what you think you’re capable of? Sometimes it takes an outsider to believe in us, challenge us - to call us out on our bullshit so we can rise to a new level, a level we don’t even consider possible. That is the magic of coaching. If you’re interested in challenging your own beliefs around your capabilities, let me know. I’d love to chat.

Barbara

P.S. What have you falsely believed about yourself, and later discovered wasn’t true? Did you have a mentor or coach to help you see it? I’d love to hear about it! Let me know by replying or leaving a comment.